Vent

I'm getting ready for winter. I hate winter. It sucks. If I had the option of being sodomized by a live piranha or have winter you would have shitty bloody fish on your hands. To me winter is gods way of getting back at us for all the bad things that we do in the summer. For all those times that you go for a naked stroll through the playgrounds. For all those times that you get drunk in the park and wake up under someones balcony with some albino chick with one arm. For all those times that intentionally fart on a hot packed bus and blame it on the blind old lady with a diabetic seeing eye dog. For all those times that you eat grapes at the supermarket without paying for them and then pretend that you are choking just to get the attention of the big breasted chick holding a banana. For all those times that contribute to the lovely piss aroma that emanates from down town alley ways. For all those times that you try to pick up a Jehovah Witness by offering them lemonade and LSD. Do I hate winter. My odds of dying increase dramatically in the winter. Do you know the distance from home to the bar. There is no stopping to take a nap on someones lawn. And lets not mention the ice. I fall down as it is in the summer. Add ice to the mixture and i'm like a old lady with a new hip made of steak getting chased by a pit bull.


Random Thought of The Day
Sometimes when you get caught doing something bad you just have to smile and accept it. Not everyone has an appreciation for getting 3 bodies in a 55 gallon drum.